I miss being in the passenger seat of your car.
I miss hearing you sing and serenade and rap to me when your favorite songs came on.
I miss your soft kissable lips.
I miss how you would surprise me by grabbing me on the waist and pulling me closer to you as you stole a long kiss from me.
I miss the way your eyes would stare at me like I’m the most beautiful thing.
I miss your presence and how I felt so comfortable and normal around you.
There are days when I find myself alone.
Physically and emotionally.
During those days of solitude, I have slowly grown fond of my presence.
I adore how I can laugh at the most stupidest and silly things.
I adore my passions for movies and Netflix.
I adore my small weird talks to myself that I do.
And I hope when time will permit, for me to meet people who can adore my presence.
And love my actions and moments as I have learned too.
Don’t fucking talk to me if you have a motive of me falling for you or me becoming your girlfriend .
Its obvious that I’m not okay.
And guys like you, trying to use my problems to get close to me in hoping I’ll fall for you, disgust me.
I need a friend. I need support. I need positivity.
I don’t need your flirtatious moves and hints.
I don’t want to hear how you have a crush on me or anything.
I don’t plan on being in a relationship with anyone anytime soon.
So if you’re trying to use my problems to get close to me in hoping we could become more, you can go fuck off cause I don’t need someone like you trying to take advantage of me!
Emotional torture is what you’re doing to me.
Your slow responses.
The length of your texts and messages shortened.
Your lack of presence in my life is slowly making me feel numb.
I think I’m getting use to it.
Managed to distract and be happy for two weeks.
Only for you to come back abruptly in my life.
Giving me back everything you took away once before. Your love. Your affection. And your attention.
And you left again. This time with no signs or hints.
You just left again. No responses. Not even a “hello”. Nothing.
The silence and absence from you is killing me.
"I’m just going to shop for a present for my friend’s birthday." was the lie I told to my parents so I can secretly meet up with you.
And I’ll never forget how I first looked at you.
My eyes and thoughts only filled with lust and having the only intention to just enjoy myself for only that one night.
Your body getting intimate with mine in the back seat of your car.
And I swear, you were just going to be another guy that I’ll never see again.
Somehow we met up again on that second night.
It was getting hot, steamy, steamy and both of us nearly out of breath in the back seat of your car.
I looked into your eyes and your eyes staring back into mine.
And we both knew.
There was something more between us than a one night stand and a good time.
Our intentions for each other changed.
No longer were we going to part our separate ways after this night.
We wanted more of each other. And from that moment on. You became mine. And I was yours.